Beauty and the Beast is a story of a woman with schizophrenic hallucinations who develops Stockholm syndrome for the man who keeps her trapped in his mansion and they get married.
Cinderella is a story of a gold-digging slave girl trying to escape poverty and abuse by asking an older witch for nice things to catfish a gullible rich man who lacks facial recognition and basic observation skills. And they get married.
Snow White is about a runaway child who’s abusive guardian drugs her into a coma and leaves her in the woods with a group of men, then just as some other man begins to molest her in her sleep she wakes up and they get married.
The little mermaid is about a spoiled rich girl who just isn’t satisfied with having everything, she needs MORE but daddy says no. And a boy/man who is looking for his dream girl, which is somebody who doesn’t speak at all but is rich and famous. And some random witch who is jealous and sabotages/tricks everyone but ultimately isn’t powerful enough to succeed. They get married?
Sleeping Beauty is about a child who goes into the witness protection program /foster care before she even speaks her first words, she has a life-long stalker that is a witchy woman hell-bent on killing her, and birth-parents that are rich and famous but are not able to be with her ever. When she is about 17 she meets a hottie with a horse but it doesn’t get very far. Until one day she takes some laced drugs and cuts her finger, somehow inducing a coma. The guy is looking for her and he finds her, just as he begins to molest her she wakes up and they get married. So the old stalker witchy lady goes away forever and the girl can see her birth-parents and be rich and famous with them.
Aladdin is the story of a young homeless man who has schizophrenic hallucinations about a genie and his pet monkey. He has an obsession with the most rich famous girl in town who has no friends except her captive tiger. They take drugs together and hallucinate about flying. Then some random old ass tight wad narc of a man tries to fuck with them and he almost succeeds in murder, but no, not today! He loses, they win, they get married.
I can’t remember if I thought of this all or I saw it somewhere first???